THE RECEPTION

The wedding reception will likely be the largest party that you ever organize and host. Surely, it is one of the most important and expensive. If you don’t come from the ranks of professional events organizers you are likely to become overwhelmed with the number of details involved.

Before you begin, determine the amount of time and energy you can commit. If it’s limited and you do not have a ready stand-in to help you, hire a wedding planner, event organizer or choose an all-inclusive service. You’ll find that several decisions need to be made simultaneously and compromises are necessary. You may be able to get the location you want but the preferred caterer is already booked so develop a list of options.

How do you develop that list? Check advertisements in publications, ask friends and family for references or ask service providers. Commonly a florist will know of a reception hall that they have decorated and they in turn may know a good caterer. Regardless of how good the referral, you must assess their service on your terms – a great caterer at your cousin’s wedding doesn’t mean that they’ll do a good job at yours, especially if the menu is entirely different.

Small towns have their own problems because of a shortage of services and rental space. It may seem romantic to have your wedding in your hometown but it may not be possible to have the same glamorous affair that your best friend had in a major city. So be prepared to go with the services that are available and what they can offer or pay the high price to bring in outside services.
Before you begin you should already have the following issues resolved. This will save time and you won’t be meeting with a hall manager or caterer completely unprepared.

Reception Planning

A Budget

The reception commonly represents between 40% and 60% of the cost of the wedding and affects your choice of location, food service and how much you need to do yourself. Without the budget you can very quickly spend far more than you expected and not know how to cut costs. Any service provider wants to know the budget you are working with so they don’t offer options you can’t afford.

The Date

Probably the most important single item. Most reception facilities are booked 12-months in advance as are caterers. If there is a shortage of facilities in your region allow more time. Weekends between June and September are the popular dates and will be booked first. Choosing other months may mean more service providers are available and prices may be better. Consider an alternative such as a Friday which guests may be happy to see as a lead-in to a long weekend.

The Time of Day

Weddings are not limited to Saturday afternoon affairs. Brunches and early afternoon ceremonies followed by a cocktail party are becoming popular and can significantly reduce the cost of the meal you serve and amount of alcohol consumed. If you are planning the reception for a restaurant or hotel dining room, space may be available for late morning or early afternoon even though it is booked for later in the day. With community halls and other multi-purpose facilities, it is unlikely that the time of day will make any difference – most are not set-up to clean and reset the room more than once a day.

The Setting

Indoor, outdoor, the family farm or a posh hotel, each location has benefits and limitations. Decide this early to narrow your range of options and help you focus your search. If you are planning an outdoor reception, you’ll be arranging for catering, rentals and other services but usually have more dates to choose from.

The Number of Guests

This has the biggest impact on cost and determines the size of facility you require. Some may be too small and others dwarf a small wedding party. If you are planning an outdoor reception you must still be conscious of the space available for installation of a tent, and space for dining and milling about. It will also impact on the type of food service and menu you choose.

The Menu

If you have a preference for a certain type of food it may take longer to find the caterer or banquet hall that can provide it. If you are looking for an exotic oriental menu, do not go shopping for a hall that is known for roast beef. You should know exactly what is on the menu and how it will be presented.

Alcohol

The bar can be a very large part of your reception cost if you don’t keep it under control or eliminate it all together. If its managed in house there are several options regarding how it is stocked and paid for. If you are managing the bar be prepared for a lot of extra work and concerns. If you plan to provide your own wine make sure it is the standard that guests will expect. Keep in mind that you may be charged a "corkage fee", a charge simply for opening the bottle.
See Uplifting Spirits for more on this.

Geographic Location

Commonly overlooked, it applies in a couple of important ways. It’s one of the reasons that brides choose to have their wedding in their hometown – it’s easier for more relatives to get to. Location also affects accessibility. If it’s a considerable travel distance outside of town, guests need to know how to get there and arrangements should be made for those without transportation.

All-inclusive or Do-it-Yourself

Reception facilities are divided into two types, on-premises and off-premises, and the difference is in the services provided. On-premises services include the room, food, service and bar. Banquet halls, restaurants and hotels fall into this category. This is the way to go if you want to keep your work to a minimum.

Off-premises include community & church halls, meeting rooms and reception areas in public or private buildings. They are usually nothing more than a hall with kitchen facilities. You’ll need to look after everything from decorating to catering. The family home or an outdoor location can be included in this category, which requires additional planning because of limited space and issues of weather.

It’s a fallacy to assume that you will save a lot of money choosing an off-premises location. If you are looking for the same standard of food, service and location, the cost will be about the same so don’t make the decision on the basis of saving a few dollars. The extra time that it will require from you and the need for organization on the day are commonly not worth the difference. As well, the rooms of banquet halls and hotels are better decorated and require less work and expense to make them a pleasant surrounding. Each option has advantages and disadvantages, which we have outlined below.

On-premise Locations

As mentioned previously, this is probably the best option if organizing and contracting services are not your thing or time and distance make it difficult to make the arrangements. In this case you are contracting for a complete service – you can’t just rent the room and bring in your own caterer. The room, food and service quality come as a package so they must be assessed on each aspect, just as if you were contracting separate services.

Here are some guidelines for choosing the right location.

• Assess the space and it’s requirements for decorating. See Setting the Stage later in this section.
• Develop a sample menu and determine the costs. See Feeding Your Guests later in this section.
• Determine how bar charges are calculated and the options available.
• Determine the type of food service. Is it buffet or table service?
• Find out about any additional costs such as valet service, coat check and gratuity.

Break the overall cost down into a per-head price. This is what you can use as a benchmark when comparing one location to another. Assuming that all other factors are equal, go with the service offering the best value.

Here’s how the business side works

Reception costs are calculated using two standard methods: all-inclusive and plus-plus. All-inclusive includes the cost of the hall, food, beverages, taxes and gratuity. This may not include additional costs such as parking, valet service and bar costs. Plus-plus means that tax and gratuity are added on to the price and can add as much as 25% to the overall price. The cost is calculated into a per-head or per-plate price. Prices vary widely, even within the same town so it pays to shop around. In rural areas, prices are usually lower. A reception with a simple menu and no bar can be as little as $30 per head. In major cities, an elegant menu and bar is likely to cost you $100 – $200 per head.

The initial meeting is with the "house" wedding planner or rental coordinator. They’ll explain their services, summarize costs and show you the rooms available. They can provide you with menu suggestions and let you know what the house specialties are. You won’t have to pay anything until you book the service, which may happen before you have actually finalized the menu. Expect to pay a non-refundable deposit when you sign.

Provide an initial estimate of the number of guests. To get an expected price, you will be required to guarantee the number of guests anywhere between two weeks and a few days in advance. You can usually add a few more people but this is the minimum that you’ll be paying for. In the case of a cancellation each house has penalty clauses and if it’s at the last minute expect to pay for the entire meal even if you never taste a bite.

On-premise locations offer two standard methods of charging for alcohol.

An open bar is just that – guests can drink all night long and cost is based on a flat per-head fee. This is the best option if you have heavy drinkers amongst your guests.

The alternative is a consumption bar – bartenders keep a running tab and you pay at the end of night based on how much guests drink. This is the best option if your guests are light drinkers.

See Uplifting Spirits for more information

Off-premise Locations

Off-premises locations can be anything from a multi-purpose room in the local community centre to an elegant reception area at the art gallery. Be sure to assess the space visually and functionally. How much work is required to decorate it and how will it serve the caterer who requires space for preparing and serving food. Does it have easy access and are washrooms close by?

Although you may have visions of holding the wedding and/or reception on the family estate, few people have the space and facilities required to accommodate a large number of guests for an extended period in addition to providing amenities such as a dance-floor or the necessities like sufficient washroom facilities. You also need to think of the caterer who will require a suitable kitchen and preparation area. Remember, a large reception can result in a lot of wear-and-tear and sometimes accidents happen so if a good-natured family member has offered their home as the venue, be sure they are prepared for the crowd.

Unconventional locations

Standards have changed so many locations that would never have been considered for ceremonies and receptions are now acceptable. Public buildings such as galleries, museums and private locations such as gardens and guest homes are used for both ceremony and reception.

Outdoor settings may be ideal in summer providing you make contingency plans in case of bad weather. Public locations such as parks and nature reserves are suitable for small groups but seldom, large ones. Consideration must be give to the availability of facilities such as washrooms and access problems for older people. You may also require a permit or prior written consent before using a public location. Keep in mind that you do not have control over other people in these public areas. A bystander can play a boom-box at top volume in the middle of the ceremony or reception and there is little that you can do about it.

Suggestions

If you are planning an outdoor reception, a tent should be considered mandatory, regardless of climate. You need to shelter guests from rain, heat, wind and cold. Outdoor locations also have problems such as flies, mosquitoes and pests that need to be kept at bay.

If you are planning on using a tent, make sure you have space. The average tent can be 40 by 100 feet in size and requires additional room for anchors. The crew also needs room to work and get the tent, chairs and any other rentals items to the setup location.
If you have hired a decorator, they have their own skilled staff so don’t volunteer friends or relatives to help with the task they’ll only slow the process down.

Here’s how the business side works

Booking commonly requires up to 12-months advance notice and a non-refundable deposit is payable to hold the date, with the balance due prior to or on the date of the reception. The contract will outline what the space can be used for, the rules for using the kitchen and licensing requirements if alcohol is served. The typical cost for these rooms is between $200 and $500 dollars depending on size, furnishings and services provided. Additional services include setup of tables and chairs and cleaning afterwards which may not be part of the basic price. Some small community halls may not have the staff or volunteers available and do not offer these services but still expect you to leave the space the way that you found it, which means you will need to arrange for your own setup and cleanup crew.

Setting the Stage

Make an objective assessment of the room and determine the cost and time to decorate it. If you are hiring a decorator or using a wedding planner they may already be familiar with the location and can tell you right away if it’s likely to meet your needs and approximately what it will cost. Otherwise, take them along to check it out. It’s better to accept their advice and move on to another location rather than spend a fortune turning a sow’s ear into a silk purse.

Keep the following things in mind when you are picking a location

• Assess the attributes of the space. The room has a specific shape, fixtures, windows, and architectural details that cannot be moved. Some you will need to work around, others hide and still others may add to the setting and can be enhanced. For an off-premise location, assess the kitchen and food serving areas. This may require a contact with your caterer who may ask to see the space if they are not already familiar with it.
• Assess the light sources in the room. If you preview it during the day but are using it in the evening the ambience can change entirely. The natural light streaming through windows may not be there. See what adjustments can be made with what is available and determine if any additional sources can be used in the room. It may require little more than candles at tables to create the effect that you want.
• Ask what limitations there are on decorating and who can do it. The owner may offer these services as part of the package price or have some preferred decorators /florists they use. If they offer this type of service, ask for pictures of the room when decorated. If every wedding looks the same, ask if you can introduce your own ideas. If you haven’t arranged for a decorator, ask if they have any names they can suggest that may have been able to do wonders in the same space.
• If there are unsightly items already in the space such as sports banners hanging from the ceiling or a moose head over the bar, ask if they can be removed.

Get a floor plan of the space or draw one out yourself after measuring the room. It’s much easier to draw your plans out on paper, determine the arrangement of tables, etc. than have to move furniture around or make last minute decisions on the day of the ceremony.

• Does the space have adequate air conditioning/heating for a large number of guests? This is very important with older halls that may not have proper central air conditioning and rely on open windows. If heat is necessary, is it provided from an older ceiling mounted heater that is apt to blow ceiling decorations off their moorings?
• Are there any special features of the room such as a fireplace or fountain and do they work? Don’t assume that you can just light a roaring fire to take the chill off.
  Determine the best spot for the head table. Remember, this is a focal point for the celebration.
• Determine the worst spots in the room and if there is anything you can do to make them better.
• Where do the bar, dance floor and buffet stations go? There may be set locations that limit size or prove awkward in a crowded room. Image the space occupied with the number of guests you expect to invite – almost any room seems spacious when it’s empty.
• Find out how decorations can be hung or attached. Are there restrictions as to the type of props, lighting and fabric that can be used? Some locations are very particular about introducing the open flame of candles and potentially flammable materials.
• Find out how much time is allowed for decorations to be setup and taken down and when can these occur? Some venues will guarantee access the evening before and others will only make it available if it’s not booked or charge a premium price.
• What parking is available and what is offered? A valet service is a nice touch and saves guests the trouble of hiking through a parking lot in their formal wear but will usually come at a price.
• Determine where the cloak- room is, or where it will be set up. It should be in a convenient location and offered without charge to guests. Be sure to ask about security for this room.
• Determine when the space is available on the day of the event and what the closing time is.
• Look at the access points to the room and determine if they can be decorated and how. This is the area that greets the guest and prepares them for what’s inside. If they have to traverse blank corridors or worse yet, unsightly hallways, you are not creating a welcoming environment. If it’s a large facility you will need to mark the way so guests don’t get lost.
• Is the space likely to change before your wedding? If renovations are planned – find out what the final outcome will be – that’s what you will be decorating.
  If the room is being used for both the ceremony and reception and a change of decoration is required, how long does it take and where do guests go when this is happening?
• Remember to check the maximum number of people allowed.

Working with a decorator

As with every other aspect of weddings, there are changes in the methods of decoration. Paper streamers and balloons may have been in style when your parents were married but there are many more options today. What you can use may be greatly influenced by limitations of the space so keep that in mind. You should also keep the decorations in the context of the overall wedding. It’s the responsibility of the decorator to see that this happens.

Guidelines for working with the decorator that will help them with their job

• Have a budget in mind before you start and tell the decorator.
  If you have a plan in mind, write it down and provide it to the decorator. Be sure to determine a general colour scheme and decorating style keeping the wedding theme in mind. Be sure to list anything you must have or definitely do not want as wedding decorations.
• Ask to see pictures of previous work, the best way to assess what they can do. When you look at pictures, ask how much it cost.
  If you can arrange it before you reserve, take a walk-through with the decorator and see what they suggest.
• Determine which elements of the decoration they are responsible for. The name of the business may not imply everything that they are able to do. Some can arrange for rental such as chairs, tables and dishes equipment or may provide flowers.
  Determine what you are paying for. Are there additional charges for setup and teardown that you are not aware of?
• Does the decorator provide the floral arrangements or are these provided by another business? Who do they use and ask if you can speak with them directly or arrange a group meeting to discuss the options. They may have their own suggestions.
• If they are looking after the floral arrangements for tables, be sure that they have experience with a variety of flower types and arrangements.

Ask the decorator to summarize their suggestions on paper and present you with an approximate budget in advance. It is important that you and the decorator know what you are agreeing to. Even with this budget in mind, it is very common to have some cost overruns, as what you first imagined may need a few additions.

Remember that decorators have their own ideas. They know from experience what works and what does not and will help steer you away from the latter. Do not be so rigid with your own ideas that you do not listen to theirs.

Other considerations

If that is not enough there are a few other details that you need to keep in mind when planning the reception.

• Who will be seated at the head table? Usually this is reserved for the wedding party only. If it is a very small wedding or informal you may want to break with this tradition.
• The table assignments for guests. It’s a good idea to seat people with other people they know. At the same time it is good idea to break up the groups so that your family isn’t all on one side of the room and the groom’s on the other. It is an opportunity for family members from both sides to get to know each other. Be sure to use table cards if you have a specific seating plan in mind.
• The Master of Ceremonies for the evening does not need to be an entertainer, but should be comfortable speaking before a large group of people and know how to keep the speeches flowing from one to the other. It is not the Master of Ceremonies" responsibility to "roast" the bride and groom or embarrass them in anyway. This task usually falls to the best man or one of the ushers.
• If you have many out of town guests, you may want to look for an establishment, such as a hotel, that also offers rooms. This will save guests the trouble of finding accommodation themselves and make it considerably easier to get to and from the reception. Many hotels offer discounts for wedding guests, especially when you book several rooms.